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I was reading a very interesting article in my local paper about a few Canadians who were in a similar situation. Several years ago, these folks received the worst possible news.

They were informed they had terminal cancer with a specific amount of time remaining. That’s the bad news.

For clarity, this timeframe differed among the individuals interviewed.

The good news is they far exceeded their expected lifespan, sometimes through extended periods of remission or for no obvious reason at all.

These folks had a mulligan for an indefinite extension of life.

To ensure we are on the same page, a mulligan, in its narrowest sense, refers to a golf swing that isn’t counted against the golfer’s score. For example, a group of friends is golfing, and one of them tees off, but a bird distracts him at a critical moment in the swing. The friends might give a mulligan, a do-over, and continue with a friendly game.

Over time, a wider context can be applied to describe a second chance without penalty.

Hence, these people in the article had a second chance at a longer life, without any penalty.

One person took the year or so left in her life to check off some bucket items and build memories with loved ones. This involved spending time with these people and spending her money. She wasn’t married, and no obvious heirs to consider.

Only she didn’t die within the time she expected. She was in pretty good health with no end in sight.

This was her mulligan.

But that left her in an existential struggle to understand who she was, what her identity was, and how she should move forward in life.

For example, should she start dating again? With not much money in reserve now, should she downsize her lifestyle? What about looking for work? Was she someone waiting to die, or was she like everyone else – or almost everyone else? And it goes on.

I started to wonder what I would do with a mulligan for my life. What would I do?

I often struggled and frequently ended up with an ‘It depends’ response.

Then I decided to rely on my bumper sticker, guardrails for life, and my personal values to help me navigate life as the person I want to be.

Here are my top three mulligan aides.

First is the bumper sticker, “Say yes more often.” This helps me avoid staying in a groove, especially when it becomes a rut. Example: When I retired, I felt as if I could now do anything I wanted – or nothing at all. Eight years into my life after paid employment, I sometimes struggle to find time to do nothing at all.

Second, I believe in leaving any place I go in better condition than I found it. For example, simple acts like tidying up or picking up litter. Non-people stuff. 

The most difficult improvements to leave behind involve people. For example, notice the invisible workers in life, such as those who earn their living cleaning, and take a moment to say hello or thank you.

Third, my strongest personal value is honesty. Even when it hurts. I know I have had some spectacular failures in my life that I’ll keep to myself. I’ve had some that made me feel proud that I lived up to my expectations, despite the difficult circumstances.

Please give this a bit of a think. If you could have a mulligan for the rest of your life, what would you do?

Please comment by sending me an email with your bit of a think. I am curious about your thoughts.

Photo by Soheb Zaidi on Unsplash

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Email: Glenn Walmsley