I was a well-seasoned manager when I overheard a staff member passing another in the hallway.

Oh, you just finished a meeting with Glenn.

The other responded with, “How did you know?”

“You have that look in your eyes – deer in the headlights.”

Then they each went their separate ways.

I laughed to myself. Then I thought more and realized there was a clear staff reaction to many of my conversations with staff. It was not the response I was aiming for.

Why was this happening?

It took some time, but I finally figured it out. It has changed how I approach many future conversations. To this day, I remain very aware of the risk of the deer-in-the-headlights reaction.

Here’s what I discovered about myself.

I know I can spot links between things that others don’t see as connected.

Here’s an example. Many of the titles for my Blogs are a bit cryptic, and that’s intentional. It supports the “for curious spirits” tagline under my signature. The first part of the Blog, the most important part, is a story. After that, I introduce my ‘bit-of-a-think,’ where I connect the dots between an isolated curiosity in my life and something you might relate to. A couple of examples are the familiar bread dough hook and the science built into the wheels of an airplane.

When I’m successful, I can pique your interest and then shift your thinking to a reflective moment that is enjoyable and sometimes surprising. I connect the dots by taking you along for a ride through my thought process.

When staff had the deer-look, I failed to bring them along for the ride. I didn’t realize that not everyone had connected the obvious dots before me. I made one or more leaps that the staff member didn’t make. They left, shaking their heads as they walked away muttering, “What was that all about?”

Once I understood that dynamic, I paid closer attention to that look in their eyes. I could tell when I was losing them, at least most of the time. I’d back up and add more dots for them to follow. Everybody in my life is happier when I add the dots and bring them along for the ride, rather than unknowingly abandoning them by the side of the road.

Please give this a bit of a think. Have you ever been in a conversation where you felt as if you were being left behind? What did you do at the time? Did you help the other person find the missing dots? Have you been on the receiving end, as I was, with the deer-look?

I am curious about your thoughts. Please comment below or send me an email with your bit of a think.

Photo by Yangfan Gan on Unsplash

If you enjoyed The Blog, please share it with others. Thanks.

And my thanks to St. Albert’s 50+ Activity Centre for making this Blog possible.

Volunteer Blogger

glenn.walmsley@icloud.com