I think I’m generally a good person, the kind of person I set out to be – most of the time. But I still constantly need to work at being closer to who I want to be.

The world is constantly changing. My body continually surprises me as I age. My family and friends continue to evolve. It is a never-ending dance to keep tuning myself or staying in tune with the person I expect myself to be.

I can be bloody-minded about the little changes I want to make. Most of the time, I’m successful to some degree. I rarely recede from what I expect of myself. Looking back, I can learn how I do this, giving myself a pathway for future changes.

Here’s my pathway.

I focus less on the goal and more on a series of smaller steps to improve my chances of success, thus a more systemic approach.

For example, when I’m trying to lose weight, I check out the ways I can help myself do this. At the top of the list is to reduce snacking on high-carb and sugar items. If I buy a bag of chocolate chips, I know I will eventually eat them. I try to hide them from casual view, but they call out to me, and I will respond as I would to a frightened child—quickly and all in. I need to not put them into my grocery cart to improve my chances of success.

Next, I’m all for incremental steps. Going toward a goal is always better than moving farther away or standing in the same spot.

My cardio workout is 3 times each week. There are days I don’t want to do it – blame time, mood, weather, or dirty workout socks. But I reminded myself that showing up was half the battle, so I went to the recreation centre. I may move more slowly and take longer to climb fewer steps, but I usually talk myself around to keep my heart rate in the zone for my usual 50 minutes. Sometimes, I don’t go the distance.

I forgive myself and move on.

I could reduce the obstacles and lower the friction points to success by walking to the recreation centre, which is only about a 15-minute hike. After all, I’m trying to keep fit, and what better way than a brisk walk? I know that walking both ways will be a barrier for me. Again, time, mood, and weather could be just enough to keep me home. So, I treat myself to the car ride without guilt.

Next, I re-evaluate my many goals. I was working on writing a play. I’m on my second 7^th draft with no end in sight. I spent a lot of brain time keeping the completion of the play in my brain. I decided it wasn’t in the cards right now. I had other things I was more committed to. So, I reluctantly decided to take a break from the play. At first, it was indefinite, but over time, I really wanted to finish it. I decided to keep away from the play for a few more months, which would see me get past all the fun outdoor things I like to do in the summer. I’ll be returning in late September from a 10-day trip to Ontario. Upon my return, I’ll commit to finishing the 7^th draft before the end of the year. That will be my last draft, regardless of the endless improvements that could be made. The final step will be to turn the script into an e-book and post it on iBooks

Each time I ‘do the work,’ I become more of the person I want to be

Please give this a bit of a think. What is a goal you’ve had for a long time but truthfully haven’t done much to reach the goal? Would there be a benefit to parking the goal at least for a while instead of keeping it on active duty? What goal have you achieved, and did you use the more systems approach?

I am curious about your thoughts. Please share your bit of a think in the comment section below. It will come to me for approval before posting.

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glenn.walmsley@icloud.com