I have had a few things in my life lately that sent me to the dark side, a habit I work hard to break. I’m usually successful, but I needed to focus these past few weeks to get back on my preferred track.

I believe I have a choice despite a default tendency.

Let me explain.

I have a friend who rents his apartment with his partner. One works full-time, the other half-time. They get by without much to spare. Their lease is coming up for renewal. They are worried, and I’m worried about them. They may have to move from their ideal location if their rent increases.

I am concerned for them. Where will they move to? Will there be public transportation? Will the hours of service work for their evening needs? Will their new neighbourhood be safe? Will the family stresses go deep enough to cause them to separate? Who will keep their adored dog?

Whew!

A more personal example.

I’m noticing more aches and pains. Feeling my age, so to speak. It’s nothing serious; it’s just a steady reminder that wasn’t present a year ago.

Is this the beginning of the end? When will I have to give up my driver’s licence? Will I eventually have to move out of my home and into a senior’s accommodation with ever-increasing levels of care?

Whoa, there, where did that come from?

Take a big breath. Another.

At these moments, I wonder why I and, I think, many humans tend to pursue the darkest of outcomes. It’s not just me.

When an expected guest’s arrival is late on a cold winter’s night, the proverbial “he could be lying in a ditch somewhere” comes to mind.

To get myself out of these dark thoughts, I remind myself I have a choice to think otherwise. Without that belief, resistance is futile.

I try to head towards a rational consideration. What are the chances of my darkest thoughts coming true? They are usually all possible but not inevitable. What alternative thinking patterns would be more reasonable in the absence of factual information?

There are many alternatives about my friend, who may or may not be lying in a ditch somewhere. His phone may not be available to him. He could be having car trouble. He is driving slower than usual to be extra safe. He could have had a late start.

I could go on, but I won’t.

Take a big breath. Another. Pour myself a glass of wine and settle in to await his safe arrival, or actual trustworthy information comes to me. I don’t need to start phoning all the hospitals along his route.

I usually don’t go down those dark paths too far before I stop. I’ve worked at being aware of when I am headed there and stopping my thinking immediately. When my guard is down, or I’m extra sleepy or tired, I can pick up old habits.

Please give this a bit of a think. Do you have some default dark paths? Do you think you have a choice in your thinking? How do you cope with these ‘dark paths?’

I’m curious about your thoughts. Please share your bit of a think in the comment section below. It will come to me for approval before posting.

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glenn.walmsley@icloud.com