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I feel overwhelmed at times. My response is to shut down. I raise my inefficiency rating and move in slow motion.

I know I’m feeling overwhelmed when I can’t seem to get anything done. I look back on my day and realize I must have started 10 different things but completed none. I know this isn’t going to end well if I don’t do things differently.

I first focus on completing the simplest tasks, like clearing the dinner table. Here’s where my deliberate inefficiency kicks in. I take only one item off the table at a time. That cup that goes into the dishwasher makes a trip all by itself. Likewise, every other item on the table is handled individually.

I also walk slowly, deliberately, and with focus. I’m aware of the need to avoid mental or visual distractions.

Yes, it sounds stupid to me too, but it works for me. The table gets cleared. Job done. Success.

I recently came across the concepts of addition and subtraction in relation to feeling overwhelmed. I thought about how they applied to my coping strategy.

First, an explanation so we are all on the same page. We are bombarded with advice on how to cope with everything we have to do in our lives. Reserving time for a treatment response is a favourite category of help.

For example, getting some regular exercise helps. Maybe I should try scheduling some reading time with a favourite book. Another idea is to stay in the bathroom longer and spend some me-time. This supposedly gives a break from looking after the children.

All of these are right up there with long walks on the beach and contemplating sunsets.

Here’s why I don’t find those ideas helpful. Yes, they are easy to understand, but I already don’t have enough time in my day, and now you want me to add more things to do. Counter-intuitive, I’d say. These ideas are all additions to my day.

It is rare to have a subtraction idea. Think about all the things that are eating my time, prioritize them, pick one, and stop doing it.

Usually, from a long, prioritized list, there are a few at the bottom that I could at least postpone for a month. That is subtraction.

Now, when I reflect on my coping mechanism through the lens of addition and subtraction, I think I’m subtracting. When I move at a deliberately slow pace, I have, in fact, postponed other priorities for a time. Maybe not for a month, but long enough to start feeling less overwhelmed. That’s progress. 

When the proverbial dishwasher gets turned on, I take a few minutes for myself, and I’ve learned to appreciate my success. Every step forward gets me closer to my goal, just not in the time frame I’ve unrealistically set for myself.  

Please give this a bit of a think. When feeling overwhelmed, is your default to add or to subtract? If that’s working for you, carry on. If it isn’t, why not try the other option?

Please comment: Send me an email with your bit of a think. I am curious about your thoughts.

Photo by Michael Hamments on Unsplash

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